About
As a child I never felt right in my own skin. I knew that there was something wrong with me.
I wanted so badly to become a girl. My thoughts were consumed by that thought. Every night I hoped when I woke up I would be a girl and the days before I slept were just a bad dream. Every birthday I would blow out my candles and wish with all my heart that I could become a girl. I refused to cut my hair so people would call me a she and tell me what a cute girl I was. I started dressing as a girl whenever I could. Every daydream, every wishing star, every moment of every day was consumed by that one wish, to be what I knew I was inside.
As I started to grow I hated myself more and more because my body was not changing the way I wanted it to. My thoughts went to dark places, and I thought about killing myself every night. I knew that there was no magic genie that would make me right, and I thought there was no way for me to be happy with who I was. That was until the day I was watching television and I stumbled upon a movie where one of the characters had gotten a sex change.
This discovery that I could do something to become female uplifted my heart. I began to save every cent I could, counting down until the day I could afford the sex change operation. Unfortunately, coming from a poor family, there was not much to save. I did everything I could – I baby sat, cut grass, anything I could do to raise a little extra money. Over the years I have saved up literally as much as I could.
After all the therapy, doctors visits, and hormonal therapy that is required before one can get the surgery, I have all but run out of the money I saved over the years. I still put every cent I can to get the surgery, but life has a way of getting the way of one’s dreams. The little I can afford to stash away is not nearly enough… according to my math, I’ll be 50 or 60 before I can become the person I know I am meant to be.
So I am begging you – all of you out there in Internet land – to give me a hand in any way that you can. Even the smallest donation of $1 or $2 will add up in the end. And in return, I will give you a little piece of one of my biggest passions – art. I hope you enjoy this comic, and I hope it serves as a decent enough thank you for helping me achieve my lifelong dream.
I sent in $5.00. I know it’s not much. But it’s what I have right now. I sympathize although I can’t truly relate. In my case, I was run over by a tow truck at age ten and got some facial injuries along with assorted others. The meds they gave me made me do all my growing at once. So at twelve I was as big as I ever grew. I’m moderately tall and pretty large as an adult. On a twelve year old that was huge. Being huge with facial scarring and distortion right when adolescence is setting your lifetime self image is fairly tragic. My nickname for a couple of years was Frankenstein. I didn’t pick that. But that does mean that I understand when someone looks in the mirror and wishes they could have something else be in it. I hope my tiny donation in some way gets you closer to peace.